How To Calm a Captain
by FenMoon
Summary: Luffy is naturally energetic, so naturally the Straw Hat pirates all have their own ways of calming him down. Some work better than others. ZoLu lite.


**This is the second ZoLu that I've written, although that part of it is somewhat light. This just seemed like a fun idea to write on, so I ran with it. Hope that all of you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its characters. Seriously, do you really think that I could come up with reindeer doctors and singing swordsman skeletons with afros?**

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How to Calm A Captain

Anyone who met Monkey D. Luffy knew right away how excitable he was. The young captain just gave off so much wild and uncontrollable energy. At first glance, most who saw him thought that he was insane, childish, or both. Once they spent some time with Luffy, however, they realized that that puppy-like energy fueled his confidence and strength. Those that fought against him thought it ridiculous that that energy was enough to defeat them. Those that supported him saw what a blessing it could be.

Both of these groups, however, had something in common: they didn't have to live with Luffy.

It's not that his crew wanted that energy ball to stop altogether. Even if they all scolded their captain for his antics, it was that confidence and energy that inspired them to continue on their journey and pursue their dreams. Besides, if Luffy wasn't his usual, energetic self, then he just wouldn't be Luffy.

Still, the rubber man was not only energetic, but also very easily bored. With most people, that wouldn't be a problem, since they could just go outside and run around to expend their pent-up energy. Luffy, however, was a pirate, which meant that he lived on a ship that was, more often than not, in the middle of the ocean. Even though there were plenty of dangers on the Grand Line, there were also long stretches of time when nothing happened to distract him. Also, as large as the Thousand Sunny was, with eight other people on board, there wasn't a lot of room for Luffy to move around in. Even worse, because of Luffy's curse, he couldn't swim in the water in order to keep himself occupied. Put all these things together, and you get an over excitable teenage boy that could literally be bouncing off the walls in a confined area.

In order to cope, each of his crewmates had to find ways in order to try and calm him down when Luffy's cabin fever became too much to handle. All of them handled it differently, and some methods worked better than others.

Brook tried to handle the situation in the way that came natural to him. Whenever he saw Luffy in his energetic state, he offered to sing for him. Every time, Luffy would immediately stop what he was doing and cheer on his newest nakama to sing. Brook would, of course, comply, and Luffy would be distracted.

It made everyone on the ship happy. Luffy loved to hear Brook sing, and Brook always jumped at a chance to perform. He especially appreciated it when Luffy was his audience. The boy was one of the few people he had met since his days among the Rumba Pirates that actually knew most of the older pirate songs that Brook loved. As for the rest of the crew, while it didn't help the noise level, the skeleton's melodious voice was better than Luffy's sporadic shouting any day. However, this never lasted too long. Eventually, Brook would have to rest the throat that he didn't have, and Luffy would immediately go back to whatever he had been doing beforehand.

Whenever Franky saw Luffy run by, he'd call him over to look at his latest invention. Over time, he'd shown him everything from engines to cannons to new designs for the figurehead. Luffy would come see him whenever he called, since he was the captain and had to approve everything that the shipwright made (at least, that's what Nami said). However, what Franky didn't realize was that, while he could go on all day about structures and mechanisms, Luffy, along with the majority of the crew, couldn't follow more than a few words. Franky would be talking while fiddling with some device he was working on, only to turn around and see that Luffy had left. Franky would, of course call out after him, but Luffy would only just yell back that he trusted Franky, and was sure that whatever he made, he was sure it would work.

Robin, for her part, never did anything to calm Luffy down because quite frankly, it didn't really bother her. Robin had been on pirate crews since she was eight. Compared to some of the sea monsters she had been forced to share quarters with, Luffy was as quiet as a mouse. Really, no matter how wild the captain got, Robin has perfectly fine just reading her books. It was rare that she would walk into her room in order to get away from the noise.

Chopper was never sure what to do when Luffy got riled up. Of course, he had a really easy way of handling him, and the rest of the crew had been very happy with him when he had injected the sedative in the Alabasta desert. After the third time he had used it, though, Robin had pulled him aside and explained to him that giving too much sedative to someone could make them really sick.

After that, Chopper stopped using sedative unless someone like Nami asked him to, so instead he just resorted to yelling. If the reindeer was making medicines or treating wounds, then Luffy would comply and leave him alone. Otherwise, the doctor was out of luck and Luffy would usually just pull him into whatever nonsense he was up to. So, it didn't really work, but Chopper still had fun, so it was okay.

Sanji, being the ship's cook, was in a much more perilous position than the rest of the crew. One of Luffy's biggest passions was food, and he'd come to the galley and pound on the door at least once a day, begging for meat. When he was in one of his more excitable moods, it was even worse. Naturally, Sanji was not at all happy with this. He didn't have time to be making snacks for the captain when he had to prepare treats for his lovely Nami-swan and Robin-chwan. Of course, since Luffy was who he was, he didn't really care.

The fact that he spent almost all of his time in the galley was both an advantage and a trap. Whenever he saw that Luffy was in one of his moods, he'd just quietly enter the galley and lock the door so that he could go on with his daily cooking duties. This would work fine, until Luffy zeroed in on food. Then, Sanji was trapped. Every time, it turned into a shouting match with Luffy whining for food and Sanji yelling at the captain to leave him the hell alone. Sometimes, Sanji would give in and whip something up for Luffy, which would calm him down while and even a little after he ate. Otherwise, Luffy would eventually give up and go see what Usopp was doing. Either way, Sanji wound up with a headache.

Usopp was pretty tolerant with Luffy's exuberance. Sure, it annoyed him to no end when he was interrupted while making more boshi for his slingshot, but he didn't have many complaints about putting his tools away to play with the ship's captain and doctor. Of course, when he didn't feel like running around, or when the rest of the crew started giving dirty looks at their antics, Usopp tried to slow Luffy down the same way he tried to solve most of his problems. He would start telling a story about one of his many great adventures on the sea. As if on command, Chopper would immediately look at him with admiration sparkling in his eyes, hanging off his every word. Usopp found it somewhat pleasing that someone had such unyielding faith in him. Luffy had by this point in their voyage figured out that most if not all of Usopp's stories were lies. Still, if the sniper made it fantastic enough, it would grab his friend's attention for a while, or at least until lunch.

Nami responded to Luffy's cabin fever the same way that she did to most of the crew's lunacy. She punched him. Not strong enough to knock him out, but enough to stop him in his tracks. Even though it was somewhat difficult, she always made sure that whatever blow she gave him went into his stomach. Usopp had mentioned once that it seemed kind of cruel, since everyone else she just hit on the head. Really, though, it was more to make sure that didn't do something to ruin Luffy's prized straw hat. That simple hat was both the boy's trademark and greatest treasure, and Nami wasn't sure if she could face him again if she did anything to ruin it. Regardless, her blows worked like a charm. Luffy would immediately stop what he was doing after he recovered. Of course, he'd just go off on another tangent when something else got his eye, but still, it did _technically_ work.

Zoro, however, had by far the fastest and most effective way of calming Luffy down. Of course, it would only work if he were the one who did it. If anyone else tried (not that anyone wanted to), they'd only end up injured, both by Luffy's flailing and Zoro's angry response.

The act was fast and instantaneous. Wherever Zoro happened to be napping at the time, he'd notice Luffy up to his usual shenanigans. Zoro would wait patiently like a cat outside a mouse hole, completely still and unassuming until his captain came within range. Then, when Luffy was close enough, Zoro would grab him and pull him into his lap. Luffy would struggle a little, but seconds in the swordsman's grip, and Luffy practically melted in his arms. No one, Luffy included, could explain it, but something about Zoro's protective hold made him feel completely safe and relaxed.

Fortunately, the Straw Hat Pirates were all very open-minded individuals, so none of them minded the image of one man intimately holding another. As long as Luffy was quiet and non-disruptive, it was no skin of anyone's nose (or non-nose, in Brook's case). In fact, it wasn't unheard of that one of them would drive Luffy towards his resting first mate in order to calm him down. Zoro had no qualms about it, either. Napping was always nicer when you had another warm body to hold onto in your sleep, and if he was really lucky, he could get Nami to subtract some of his debt in return for his "services."

Of course, there were those times when they didn't sleep, and got a little more frisky than publicly acceptable. In which case, the procedure was the same for the entire crew: yell at both of them and throw them down into the men's quarters.

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**A/N: I don't usually write stories like this one, but like I said before, I thought that this would be a fun story to write, so I did. Hope that you all liked it, and please, PLEASE review! Thank you.**


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